Cognitively, I realize that I have so much to be thankful for, yet I don’t feel alive & grateful. I don’t have hope or a purpose.

I would like my brain back. I miss my brain.
I can’t remember stuff. I can’t focus on anything.


I keep thinking of a question from Gayle Haggard’s book:

Who are you and what kind of a person are you going to be in this story?


I don’t know who I am. I don’t like the kind of person I am in this story.

I know I’ve done the best I could, but I feel like I waste all the hours of every day. I seem to believe that I should be doing something. Something worthwhile. But I don’t want to do anything. And I don’t feel called to do anything.