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Cognitively, I realize that I have so much to be thankful for, yet I don’t feel alive & grateful. I don’t have hope or a purpose.

I would like my brain back. I miss my brain.
I can’t remember stuff. I can’t focus on anything.


I keep thinking of a question from Gayle Haggard’s book:

Who are you and what kind of a person are you going to be in this story?


I don’t know who I am. I don’t like the kind of person I am in this story.

I know I’ve done the best I could, but I feel like I waste all the hours of every day. I seem to believe that I should be doing something. Something worthwhile. But I don’t want to do anything. And I don’t feel called to do anything.



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Today I’m thankful for my terrific husband. I’m thankful for a long hot summer. I’m thankful that no one in our family came down with Jets fever. I’m thankful for the comforts of home, and for the adventure of travel. I’m thankful for lindy-hop. I’m thankful for good books. I’m thankful that I don’t have to cook a turkey.