I’ve been reading Two-Part Invention and liking it more than her fiction.

 

He writes that there are prayers that one is not allowed to pray, such as my ‘Please, dear God, don’t let it be cancer.’ Rabbi Kushner says I can’t pray that way, because right now either it is cancer or it is not.  But I can’t live with that. If we don’t pray according to the needs of the heart, we repress our deepest longings. Our prayers may not be rational, and we may be quite aware of that, but if we repress our needs, then those unsaid prayers will fester.

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God does not wave a magic wand… My head understands this. My heart still cries out.  And I remember my seventeen-year-old prayer… when my father was dying: “Please, God, do whatever is best for Father. Please do whatever is best for Father.” And that, of course, underlies all our praying. Do what it best, even if at this moment I cannot know what that best may be.

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Ellis Peters: “He prayed as he breathed, forming no words and making no specific requests, only holding in his heart, like broken birds in cupped hands, all those people who were in stress or grief.”…I am less and less specific in my prayers, simply holding out to God those for whom I am praying.