Looking at photos of myself from any point in the last 25 years, it is obvious that the hair is not right.  The thing is, I’ve never been thinking “I’m stylin’!” either when any of those pics were taken.  As far as hair is concerned, I’ve always felt like I’ve been doing the best I could, but that’s all.  Most of the time, the best I can do with my hair hasn’t been much.  But at least I was trying.  At least I can look at all those images without hating myself, because that younger me was doing the best she knew how.

I still struggle a lot with my hair.I resent not getting to have an actual hairstyle (such as is possible with straight hair).  I resent not being able to look chic, and not being able to get an elegant night-out hairdo.

I struggle with paying $60 to have my hair cut by someone who knows what they’re doing.  I struggle with spending so much money on all the hair product that is necessary to do-the-best-I-can right now.

This week I got three compliments on my hair, but it is still an extremely rare occurrence for ME to look in the mirror and like my hairstyle, although there are fewer days when I absolutely detest how it looks.  Still, I expect that in ten years I’ll look back on the 40-year-old version of myself and say kindly and gently to her, “Oh sweetie, what hair!  But I know you were doing the best you could!”

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